Michael

Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve Michael....my husband.

Wow, he is incredibly good looking, kind-hearted, talented, loving, a good father etc. etc.... you get the idea.

Tonight, he whispered in my ear a really corny joke during the invitation....ooooohhhh- big sin....move on....anyway, a girl behind him said, "It is no time for jokes." Joking herself of course, but he turned to her and said, "It is my way of flirting with my wife!" I thought that was so funny. He knows I roll my eyes at every one of his corny jokes, but I thought it was so cute how he still wants to impress me.

Another thing was that the guy who preached tonight told a story about Michael that I hadn't heard. He, Michael and our son, Jake and his son, Matt were on there way last year to a Red Sox game when they were coming up to a red light and saw a homeless man asking for money. The guy Michael was with went to put up his window, assuming, as we all do, that the guy would spend the money on alcohol or drugs. Michael said, "No, leave it down," took out his wallet and gave the guy some money. You see, to brag on Michael a little, he tries to be like Jesus more than anyone I have ever met. He works with mentally handicapped people, the people that are last in our culture who will be first in the end. He cleans up their poop and throw up and loves them unconditionally. He gives to the people on the street and he cares about people like Jesus does.

Yes, he has all his doctrine straight and reads his Bible and prays, but he has such a real relationship with the Lord that I think when he sees Jesus in Heaven, Jesus won't ask to get caught up. His relationship with the Lord is so real and continual......he always has some part of his brain in Heaven with the Lord. Anyway, no one has opened my eyes to the love of Jesus and who He really is more so than Michael. It is so genuine, and although I have been saved since I was 5, when I met Michael, he introduced me to the real Jesus, one that is caring for others before Himself and one that cannot be contained or "figured out"; but rather a mystery. To enjoy a relationship with Christ, he has taught me it is a journey, not something you suddenly get as soon as you become a Christian. So many think they have Him figured all out. But in our finite minds...we never could.

Michael has done so much for me, both spiritually and in other ways. He has taught me patience and love and has taught me to love the Lord first. Not by just saying it, but my living it. He is a family man- vital, vital, vital. We love it when daddy is home and he makes it so much fun.

So, since this is my blog and it is about random thoughts, I thought I would just love-up on my blessed husband whom I adore. He is it, he is my soul-mate and was meant for me, and I am so glad he is my husband, I never thought it would be this easy to be married.....he is my BFF.....and I love him.

Sorry if this has made you gag, I won't write anymore about him for a while!

I Think That I'm Falling for Fall

Fall days can be so eerie sometimes. So quiet, bare trees and no one really outside. It always seems like I look in my rearview mirror to make sure no one is following me, the random leaf that falls from the sky looking for a landing is spooky. And all the leaves on the ground rustling is sometimes the only noise you hear. It can freak you out if you don't keep a grip on reality. Fall days are also my favorite, despite these things.....a fire in the fireplace, candles burning and chicken soup on the stove, makes you feel cozy.

I am trying to think of a point to this blog, but I don't really have one, except sometimes fall can make you feel kinda eerie, yet reflective at the same time, I seem to quiet down and look around at all the beauty, maybe that's why God made autumn- so you would be quiet and look at the beauty of the earth and all that is on it, then, if you notice when the snow starts to fall, it seems even quieter....there may be a point in that after all. Spring and summer everything comes to life, we go to the beach and theme parks, and have BBQ's, and everyone is outside, there is always a bustle and noise, but in the fall and winter, people slow down and take a breath. Hmmm.......that's a cool thought.

Random Thoughts

Since this is a blog called random thoughts, I guess I will take advantage of that and post some random thoughts. Not sure if anyone is reading this anymore, so I will write what I want.

Let's begin:

I am not going to vote for John McCain because I am a Christian and therefore must be Republican. I am registered Independent and hence......I think for myself, not based on what a Christian "should" do. I hate how politics are in the church and prayed about on Sunday mornings.....and how we should "pray the vote". I think that is corny. My college professor always taught me to not be affiliated to strictly one party because they both have bad sides, so stick to voting for the one you most agree with. Which I will do- which doesn't mean it will be Obama either...there are other candidates! Not as to say it won't be....I'll leave you guessing....if anyone reads this!

Next- is it a sin not to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom? Cause as much as I love my kids....I don't love staying at home all day and killing valuable brain cells watching cartoons. Wasn't there more to life than that? I think I could do more......don't get me wrong, I think it is invaluable for the children to have a parent at home, but, I also think it is ok if I go to work part-time. I really think it will be great for my kids to get out of this house and do something, which is not possible with the fact that we only have one car, and my husband needs it for work.

Finally- I really like the leaves on the ground.....why do we as people feel the need to rake the all up? Listen, if anyone would rake it would be me, I like things neat and clean- but they are so pretty covering the earth the way they should be. Now, if you drive by my house, and see all the leaves gone- remember my earlier statement about being a neat freak and know that I caved.

Well.....with all my venting done....it is safe to say I will close out this random thought blog. Until next time......if you have some random thoughts about my random thoughts....feel free....

Anxiety

Anxiety is a funny thing. Don't get me wrong, it stinks and it doesn't seem fun or funny when you are going through it. I had some serious anxiety yesterday because I had to go see a neurologist. That is scary. Stuff going on with a brain is freaky.

Anyway, I am ok, I have "textbook migraines" meaning, so normal, they are written about in textbooks. Migraines....they aren't cool, but it is better than something more scary....say a tumor? So, back to the topic...since I have been dealing with the migraines and since I knew about the appointment, I have been pretty anxious. A lot of the time I didn't even realize it, just being short with the kids and my husband, but yesterday after the shock and anxiety wore off, I was happy and laughed a lot at my husband's serious corniness. Something I haven't done in a long time.

I was calm and relaxed. Believe it or not, and I know I come off as really high-strung. Well, I don't come off like that, I am that. But for the past few months, I realized, last night, that I was really anxious about this appointment and now that it is done and I am ok, I feel.....like I can live again. I didn't even get upset when Jake was yelling this morning and Eve was sleeping.....THAT is freedom.

I thanked God a lot yesterday for giving me migraines and not a tumor. When I was in the waiting room, I heard a woman talking to the receptionist about how she had brain surgery and was having pain in the area where her surgery was....imagine that. How ultimately scary. Praise God I am ok and also that I can relax a little...just a little. Someday I will let lose and really go nuts, do something crazy like....um.....go in the water at the beach.....can't now....there might be sharks!

Yeah, Another Shoutout.

My friend Shari is this awesome photographer and she is worth a good penny for her work.

She asked me a few weeks ago where her shoutout was and now, I think she really needs one. I have a friend who is getting married, who doesn't have a ton of money to spend for a good photographer. My friend Shari is still building her portfolio....(imagesbyshari.info) :) and she offered to do this wedding for free. FREE!!!!! What an awesome thing to do, ultimately for me, but for someone she hardly knows! Don't ask her to do yours for free, now. This is a big favor!

Here is a shoutout to my friend Shari who deserves this, a great photograher and a great friend.

Thank You!

Eating Right...or Trying to

Why is it that whenever I eat vegetables they taste like earth? Could it be because they come from the earth?

I am trying to eat better, I am following the food pyramid and cutting back on my starches and sweets, which are my favorite. But, in my opinion, why does everything healthy have to taste gross?

Right now, the kids are fighting, I can't think, I'm tired and all I really want is 6 big chocolate chip cookies. I am blogging to try and take my mind off of them. I won't do it, I know, I have made progress and I know I can have some eventually, but now I am trying to lose weight and I can't indulge every want I have. This is a lesson in itself. Why do I want to eat when I am stressed or when the kids go to bed and I finally have a minute to myself? What is that telling me? That I eat for the wrong reasons? Duh, obviously.

A friend told me that if I have a craving to brush my teeth and it will weaken that craven....here's to mint toothpaste, I hope it takes my mind off a warm, chocolate, chewy, goes great with milk-cookie.

Yeah right.

Today I wanted to give a shoutout to people who make a difference in people's lives. People who come into a person's life and help and love and don't stop. Today I am gonna shout out to Rocco D. someone who has done nothing but help and love our family, and hasn't asked for anything in return. He and his family have continually loved us through hard times, given and given some more and most of all love our children. That is the best thing, when someone loves your children.

Today is Rocco's birthday and for all the giving he does for anyone and everyone I think he should be appreciated. Happy Birthday, Rocco.

And let's not forget Ann Marie, because behind every good man is a good woman and we all know what Ann Marie does...in fact, what doesn't she do? I have never seen her sit!

So.....to Monday nights and to Rocco and Ann Marie..here is a special shoutout to you two.

You are much loved.

And if you remember, send them a card or even an ecard if you can't afford a card!

Forward This!

Okay, so you know how you get like 50 forwards a day and how you know if they come from some people they will be good and others you just automatically delete? I hate and love forwards. Some are really funny and others are just made to make you cry. It is so annoying. Then, they all are telling you to forward them or bad stuff will happen or if nothing bad happens you get a guilt trip telling you nothing bad will happen you will just miss a great opportunity. Ugh. I am so sick of forwards...except the funny ones.

I got a forward this morning and the whole forward was about how a man took time out to play with his daughter and let her stay up late and all this stuff I should do with my kids. I thought it was a great reminder to loosen up. Until the part where I found out she had cancer. Now that is awful, I know, I would never want that to happen to anyone. But when the father who wrote the email said that AOL and some other company were going to pay him for each email this was forwarded to, I immediately became sceptical. Does that really happen? If it does, how come I don't get hundreds of these forwards a day? So that is it- the email isn't begging me to forward it, offering me a wish come true if I do, or bad luck if I don't. But I do have the opportunity to save a little girls life if I forward it. Is it true or not? I will never know, I am sure I will never get an email telling how all of our forwarded emails saved this little girl's life. All I know is that it MIGHT be true so I have to forward it...I have to. If I don't, I may have been the one that didn't save that little girl's life if it were true.....well..................there is my guilt trip.

P.S.- Sorry to all of you I forwarded that email to- now you must pass it on!

Why Not?

So, I have always heard or seen on TV these people who are having fun and something bad happens....dancing in the car, laughing too hard, etc.

Is that really how God works? Am I not allowed to have fun? I was dancing in the car the other day and stopped cause I was afraid I would get in an accident. Then, I rethought it, I am just having fun, I am completely paying attention, but still having fun. I can't live my life like that- afraid to have fun because I think God will put me in an accident or something will hurt me. Of course I am not talking about sinning- like drinking or being promiscuous.

But really, does God not want me to have fun? I don't think so. So, I have started gardening and I love it, it is fun. I also think I am going to plant some berries and learn to make jam. So, I know that may not sound like fun to everyone, but why not try it? It might be fun, so I am going to do it- if I ever get around to it, I will let you know how it goes. Until then, I am going to enjoy life and dance and laugh and not worry I am about to be struck down dead. I think God probably enjoys seeing me happy and laughs when I dance!

Gray Issues

Why is it that when we believe something that is a gray issue we feel it is our responsibility to make everyone else believe the same? We live in a relativistic age- meaning what is true for you isn't necessarily true for me. This does not work in all situations, there IS truth, meaning there could not be a different outcome for certain things- ie. math, Bible, - these things are true and cannot be said to be otherwise.

But seriously, things like what kind of music I listen to, what I decide to feed my kids or whether or not I send them to private, public school or even homeschool are all gray issues that in my opinion are personal.

Why do people feel like they have it right if it works for them? I am sending my children to public school, I don't feed them organic foods and I like John Mayer. Does this mean I am wrong in these things? No, it means these are my personal decisions and while I don't ask you to change to my side, I would prefer you not push me to change to yours. And please- don't take a verse out of context to prove your point- I am married to a Bible scholar, all I have to do is ask him!

SWAT- Moms

Finally, someone got smart.

SWAT Moms- Smart Women, Available Time.

For stay-at-home, educated moms who want to keep their area of expertise, that they left to raise a family, fresh while raising their children.

These women are willing to be on-demand at a moment's notice and get paid less simply to keep up on the work they want to go back to once done raising children.

Companies are vying for these moms because they are highly educated, know what they are doing and....are available for less money.

I am all about it. Women starting companies at home are taken a lot more seriously these days. I'm glad....if you know someone who needs some advertising through web sites, business cards, brochures or ads- I'm your gal. I am in the works of a business venture right now in advertising with a friend who is a graphic designer and successful business owner for over 20 years.

Stereotypes

I have written and deleted two other posts trying to make sense of my thoughts. Here it is...I hope. I don't like the stereotypes that people put on people. There- that's it.

I don't like that women are "supposed to" be serving dinner and the newspaper to their husbands when they walk in the door at 5pm. I don't like that men are "supposed to" handle the finances, because a woman shouldn't have to worry about that.

I don't like the stereotypes that go on with women and men today. I think it stinks.

Now let me just tell you, I make my husband dinner every night- but not because he expected me to- it took nearly six years before I started doing it. And he never complained once.

I am an accountant, why would my husband who is horrible with numbers and has had no good example from life do the finances?

Why do these "stigmas" have to be put on each other? Why can't it be whatever works for a family? Changing diapers is not the woman's job, just as much as snow-shoveling is not the man's job.

My husband works 2 jobs- therefore, I do all the yard work....a man's job? When we first got married, we agreed, "I will take care of the inside of the house and he takes care of the outside." As some of you know- plans don't always go as planned. I take care of the inside and the outside of the house.

We never made agreements on what would happen as far as the children go- we are both 50% parent...meaning the workload should be equal. My husband would gladly stay home with the kids, but I want to. But when he comes home, although he is tired from a long day....so am I...and therefore we begin to work together.

This is my point- working together. My husband loves to cook- he finds it very relaxing, so if I can't think of anything to cook or just really don't want to, he picks up the slack, or we even do it together. But if he is working on a lesson he has to teach for one of his jobs or counseling someone then I will pick up the slack.

Why can't more people think like that? Why do we have to have Bible studies based on the 50's golden age of religion where men were more important then women? No place in the Bible does it say men are more important....help-meet means a "helpful partner."

I Peter 3:7-Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Did you know that weaker vessel means....ready?.....more delicate. Wow, I am not weaker, but I am more delicate and it doesn't mean emotionally, either....although most of the time we are. It does not mean women should be treated like less of a person and be expected to live up to the culture's standards, and vice-versa for men. Although the media is trying to make men look like a bunch of idiots in nearly every commercial and sitcom- they really do deserve respect. They, like us, do a heck of a lot and if we want respect, then they do too, especially since that is what men have been surveyed to want the most from a woman.

I guess that is it, I just don't like the stigmas that are put on us as women and men. We should be who we are, even if a man likes to cook (see Food Network) and a woman likes to mow the lawn. If you have a mate that loves you, you can work together and everything will get done.

Pancakes

My son loves pancakes. He also loves waking up super early to have them made for him. I, am not a morning person and this does not make for a good equation. He is yelling at me to make pancakes and I am yelling back to leave me alone...it's early! This doesn't start the day off very good- for him or me. And in the meantime, we are trying not to wake my daughter up, who was giggling and talking to herself in her crib till 10:30pm....scratch that- I am trying not to wake my daughter up.

Anyway, my son started crying and asked if I was mad at him. Wow....wake up call. My son is growing up and has serious feelings. Real feelings, like me. He obviously doesn't like being yelled at....he is a lot like me, and I hate being yelled at.

As a parent, I face things I regret or mistakes I feel I made, every day. It really stinks. I feel really bad right now. I wish I could take back every word I said, or at least the tone I had.

This is a public apology to my son....I am sorry I yelled. The pancakes are made, the situation is over, my son is happy....so why do I still feel like I have permanently ruined him?

Time for a change- I better watch how I talk to him, or he could talk like that to his child. Man, sometimes it stinks that a 3 1/2 year old has to teach such a strong lesson.

The Call-Back

Ahhh, the call-back. It gets a little annoying sometimes. Let me explain. In life....(I have noticed) there are people who are peacemakers. People who must have peace with everyone. I...am not one of them. My husband....is. He has two jobs and is in a position of leadership in both. If, on the occasion of him having to "speak" to someone in a negative fashion, he feels that he has not made himself clear or feels he may have hurt the other person will perform what I have so lovingly named "The Call-Back." Now, in my case, I drop it and think the person probably didn't get offended, didn't take it the way I think they may have, or in some cases I think, who cares?
My husband, on the other hand, thinks and mulls over it until he is sure he must perform the call-back in order to ensure peace. I love that he must have peace in his life and cares deeply for other people's feelings, but as people are, sometimes they take advantage of this. Therefore, I am trying to slow down the mulling, stop it before it happens and talk fact.
Just this morning it almost happened, on something that he thought was being said, but in reality was not. I am so thankful that he must clarify and always be clear on his intentions, thoughts and spoken words, but when people start to take advantage of "The Call-Back" something must be done!
So, for those of you who take advantage of people who are peace-makers, shame on you. You should be happy there is someone who cares enough to perform the call-back ritual. And you can be sure if something wasn't clear, between you and my husband, you will get one!

Profile

I was trying to work out the whole blogger thing and I noticed the profile part. I went to it to fill it out, thinking people could know me better if they knew what I did and where I lived.
But doesn't it make a better blog to keep that stuff a mystery?
Wouldn't it let you in on who I am if I told you I had cats rather than dogs, or if I was an artist and not a banker? Those things tell something about you. I think I like the mystery of people knowing me only through blogging, I also think too many people know too much about everyone else....so I would like to keep a little privacy! But I like the mystery idea better, it sounds mysterious. You'll have to really get to know me through my words- not my occupation or animal preferences.

Cock-Eyed Man Theory

Don't you always wonder why people do some of the things they do?
My dad always said, "It's his/her cock-eyed man".
I know...what does that mean? I finally asked.
When a person has one eye that is straight and one eye that is off looking into another direction, that is a cock-eye. Well...it is fact that when a person with a cock-eye is feeling uncomfortable, the eye goes further into another direction, whereas when the person is feeling comfortable the eye becomes relaxed and begins to go straight like the other eye.
With that knowledge, let me now explain the theory....people do funny, sometimes strange things and it is likely because they are not feeling comfortable, or are feeling insecure. The cock-eyed man is a defense they use to cover something they feel insecure about. After you read this, if you are at all aware of the world around you, you will instantly begin to see this and call it, the cock-eyed man theory.
So, don't understand, yet? Here's an example: I know a really tall person who always makes fun of me cause I'm short. In reality, I am really not short, I am average, but this person is so extremely self-conscious about their height that they make themselves feel better by putting me down. It is their "cock-eyed man." Get it?
Now, go, and instead of getting upset when people do things that really bother you, realize first....it probably is their cock-eyed man. It makes it a lot easier not to turn around and slap them!

Beginner Random Thought

This is it....everybody else is doing it, so shall I.
Nothing I write on here will be too important....opinionated, probably. Sorry--- no, no sorries. I am who I am- opinionated.
I chose this blog background because it looks like I think a lot. I do...but not too deep. So, if you just want something to randomly read that could possibly make you think for a brief moment or maybe laugh before going back to do something of more interest- this is it.
Enjoy.

P.S.- I will not pretent to be some journalist writer....again...I am who I am....including my writing!