Anxiety

Anxiety is a funny thing. Don't get me wrong, it stinks and it doesn't seem fun or funny when you are going through it. I had some serious anxiety yesterday because I had to go see a neurologist. That is scary. Stuff going on with a brain is freaky.

Anyway, I am ok, I have "textbook migraines" meaning, so normal, they are written about in textbooks. Migraines....they aren't cool, but it is better than something more scary....say a tumor? So, back to the topic...since I have been dealing with the migraines and since I knew about the appointment, I have been pretty anxious. A lot of the time I didn't even realize it, just being short with the kids and my husband, but yesterday after the shock and anxiety wore off, I was happy and laughed a lot at my husband's serious corniness. Something I haven't done in a long time.

I was calm and relaxed. Believe it or not, and I know I come off as really high-strung. Well, I don't come off like that, I am that. But for the past few months, I realized, last night, that I was really anxious about this appointment and now that it is done and I am ok, I feel.....like I can live again. I didn't even get upset when Jake was yelling this morning and Eve was sleeping.....THAT is freedom.

I thanked God a lot yesterday for giving me migraines and not a tumor. When I was in the waiting room, I heard a woman talking to the receptionist about how she had brain surgery and was having pain in the area where her surgery was....imagine that. How ultimately scary. Praise God I am ok and also that I can relax a little...just a little. Someday I will let lose and really go nuts, do something crazy like....um.....go in the water at the beach.....can't now....there might be sharks!